Thursday, April 9, 2020

Day 27 of nearly full social isolation.

At my first look at the sun this morning, I was surprised at how vividly orange it was. I’m surprised at how easy it is to get up in the morning lately. I am surprised at how dry everything looks when thunderstorms and tornadoes were predicted. I’m surprised I can look at the same scene every day and not get tired of it. I’m surprised I’m not any more or less lonely than I normally am. I’m surprised that after nearly a month of staying home how I feel much less stressed, if not happier. I’m surprised my dreams don’t occupy my waking thoughts as much anymore. I’m surprised I haven’t painted, but then again that relived stress. I’m surprised the van wasn’t dirtier than it was when I had the kids clean it out yesterday. I’m surprised that McDonald’s French fries still taste good. I’m surprised the kids still argued about where to sit in the van just to go for a drive to McDonald’s and back. I’m surprised after we dropped them at home that I still didn’t care where we ate for our date. I’m surprised that it was nice to be together even if we didn’t feel the need to talk. I’m surprised that eating dinner in the car and watching The Office finale was an awesome date. I’m surprised that this was the first time I’ve watched The Office finale. I’m surprised I’m just now realizing I don’t have that many close friends. I’m surprised that considering how happy I’m am right now I’m actually ok with that. I’m surprised what I miss is the chance to have friends hang out at my house like they aren’t really guests. I’m surprised how many years it’s been since that was a reality. I’m surprised I’m only really thinking on that now. I’m surprised how the wind in the trees sounds like waves. I’m surprised at the sweet perfume in the breeze. I’m surprised the wind hasn’t been ringing the wind chime. I’m surprised how, even though life has slowed down to as slow as it could possibly be, I’m able to be surprised.

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Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Day 26

It’s a bright over cast day, oddly, but true. The rooster crows, the birds chirp, the air is still but alive. The porch swing and coffee are my current companions.

Last night our family had our weekly “formal dinner party” where we are trying to teach manners and etiquette while laughing and having fun. Between contemplating the purpose of etiquette; taking time to consider Holy Week; and talking with people on Facebook about all that’s going on it has me dwelling on an idea this morning.

What is grace? To a Christian it means God giving to us goodness we don’t deserve either because of our bad actions or because our good actions are pretty much still crap compared to the Holiness of God. Sometimes I think grace is mixed up with mercy which is not getting something (punisnment) we do deserve. Some people think of grace as meaning politeness–the idea of a gracious host who makes everyone feel at ease and is welcoming and generous. Though some who chalk it up to politeness are not in the least bit extending grace as they say all the proper etiquette but mentally judge the poor actions of the other person. You can sometimes feel those people’s thoughts as they smile at you. We all know deep down that isnt graciousness at all because its ugly. I don’t always think about it but it is interesting that we often call a beautiful thing graceful. Normally when I picture gracefulness I think of a lyrical dancer spinning and leaping. When grace is extended by God or Man it is a beautiful thing.

Though I don’t think grace is only extending the words someone wants to hear. I think it’s easy to slip into the idea that saying anything that isn’t nice is mean. Meaness is really just a narrowing– take the vast kindnesd and divide by the total so it can be understood and controlled. It is narrowing kindness down to its smallest size and doling it out stingily. Some people fear being perceived as unkind and don’t speak up when needed and are all nicety and no impact. Others are so concerned with the dangers of not speaking up they tend trample others with their words. Both extremes have significant dangers of harm one by inaction the other by action. Both extremes suffer ineffectualness and meaninglessness. Grace is far more powerful. It has all the power of Thor and all the elegance of silk and lace. It is the oak trunk and its leaves; beauty and power; strength and gentleness.
It is truth and love.

That’s what I think grace is; none of us deserve it, and we all need it.

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Tusday, April 7, 2020

Day 25

It’s one of those lush April mornings that always make me think of Easter Morning as a kid. The temperature is perfect, the air is light and sweet. The grass is brilliant green and new, the baby leaves are adolescents now.

I wrote something last April sitting on a different porch swing at a different house looking into the woods that was just beginning to turn green. The winter trees remind me of our social distancing. It’s called The Reunion of the Trees.

Today will be laundry, going over Awana sections, laundry, a little spring break homework for the teens, laundry, review work for the younger boys, laundry, kitchen chores, and laundry.

Tonight we will have our weekly formal dinner. The current plan is meatloaf, acorn squash, salad, and baked potatoes.

And tomorrow I anticipate I will do laundry. 😉

Have a lovely day everyone.

Monday, April 6, 2020

Day 24

The sun is already above the treeline, but still low enough to make the young spring leaves glow as it shines through them. I hear only birds, a window box fan, and an occasional car that a dog barks at, making the place feel far more remote than it really is.

Today is first day of Spring Break. We had planned to go camping this week but Campsites are closed, which seems fairly counter intuitive to me. Then again going camping together is a way for us to separate from all the normal things of our society and be a little secluded and closer to nature. All things we are doing more of lately because we are separated from the normal things of society.

Yesterday I gave all six people in the house a hair cut. I even managed to learn how to do a new style my middle boy really wanted. For only watching YouTube videos and no training it’s not too bad. Every one will have a new pandemic hair cut when this is all over so even if it’s not professional it’s better than what he had!

The first day of Sping Break will likely not be fun for any of us. Today I have many cleaning tasks for all of us to do. I will spend the entire day doing a 2 hour chore (or less) spread out in sporadic 5 min increments all day long as I will have to break every 5 min to make sure everyone is still doing their assigned task and not fighting with someone. If I did all the chores I am giving them to do (because I could do it faster) I would have to stop every 5 minutes to keep them from making a bigger mess or fighting. So I decided long ago it was best to keep them busy with something.

I already know I will wish I had donuts for dinner. 🤣

This morning there is a new sweetness in the air. Something else is blooming. I know several people who are struggling with allergies. Thankfully it isn’t keeping from smelling the springtime.

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Palm Sunday, April 5, 2020

Day 23

The sunlight seeks it way through clouds and branches to reach the earth. Squirrels appear to play leap frog on a branch. The rooster crows.

Today is Palm Sunday. The Sunday before the Crucifixion of Jesus. He rode an unbroken colt through the city with the people welcoming him as King. Jesus said that if they hadn’t the rocks would have cried out.
Hundred of years before it was said in Zechariah 9:9,
“Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion!
Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem!
Behold, your king is coming to you;
righteous and having salvation is he,
humble and mounted on a donkey,
on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”
This was a very stark contrast at Zecharias time when Alexander the great road his famed horse Bucephalus. There are many comparison to Alexander the Great and Jesus I wont divert to at the moment.

This Sunday and next are significant days to come together and worship and celebrate more than any other Sunday for a Christian. Its more important than Christmas. I particularly like the solemnity of Maundy Thursday in sharp contrast to Easter morning. I don’t know that I grieve this loss yet, but I definitely am missing it.

Have a Blessed Sunday with your family.

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Saturday, April 4, 2020

Day 22 of society distancing

Birds are singing their good morning, the rooster next door answers. The wind is sleeping and the sun is clouded, but it isn’t a grey day.

Guess what? I left my house yesterday! Granted I stayed in my car the whole time. My husband and I picked up take out and ate in our car and watched Netflix. We talked and joked and read crazy stuff on Facebook. It was a simple date but I did technically leave the property, just not the car. Getting food is considered an essential activity under the guidelines, by the way.

I have too many thoughts in my head to really get them all out. But I think people see the virus as some kind of invisible monster that’s way scarier because you hear it but not actually face it. Think about average the Marvel Movie it has a monster you see–not very scary. “Signs,” “The Village,” and “Stranger Things” season 1 — monster you can’t see–scary. That is, until till the end, because you see the monster.

(I really want to make a Scooby Doo joke but I can’t think how, right now.)

Ok how about this, the virus is season 2 Stranger things monster [spoiler alert]. Ok, and really it’s not about if it will get you hurt (and by you I mean Dustin). Its about if you are reckless and get other people hurt. And while there is a danger to a few people like the pumpkin farmers (old people) or our ordinary heros like Bob (Medical staff—ok hopefully not like Bob); there are bigger monsters out there that no one saw coming, not even anticipated by our group of meddling kids [ 😉 yep nailed it]. Underneath the surface a totalitarian dictatorship begins to set itself up. So that by season 3 it has grown to ginormous proportions beneath the town and the hub of its financial commerce which it will destroy and eventually to take our lead hero away.

[If only we could go back in time and save him….oh want shhhh].

Soooooo that went far because my point is if we all thought to wear masks and wash our hands to protect others(immune compromised and medical personnel) from the potential monster in us (or the monster we hid under our hat) we might not need stay at home orders from people who have no idea how the monster keeps spreading or how deadly it is or isn’t.

Still a stretch……

This folks is how my brain thinks, it has nothing to do with isolation. I’ve never been popular. You see why.

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Thursday, April 2, 2020

Day 20 of social distancing (seriously not social distancing…I haven’t left my house in 20 days)

The way the sun shines through the new leaves makes them glow. A chilly intermittent breeze makes the chimes sing and me be grateful for my blanket on the porch swing. Birds chirp in the distance. Traffic noises are few and far between. The longer I sit here typing the higher and warmer the sun shines. My face is warm and my fingers are cold.

This morning has had a bit of a rough start. I woke with a terrible headache that made me feel a little queasy. Thankfully it’s better now, but I am on my 2nd cup of coffee already.

Its seriously the 20th day since I started staying home. I feel great. I keep wondering what’s wrong with me. I’m really greatful not to have to be driving all over this way and that and stressing over herding people out the door. I wonder if its because I believe this is rather temporary. If I believed this was semi-permanent, would that change my feelings?

I’m not a germaphobe, in fact I probably have as reasonably high tolerance for that. I care about people and firmly believe in the importance of community. I’m (obviously at this point) an introvert but I don’t run or avoid crowds or groups of people. In fact I usually like it unless it’s a party with people I don’t know and I am expected to make small talk. However, I do like to be alone too, it’s like I can’t think if I can’t be alone with my thoughts. At this stage of my life, I just dont get to be alone very often. Still I keep wondering though, is something wrong with me?

I also wonder if this will change my view of going out and doing errands, driving kids, doing activities and going to gatherings. I think it will. I hope I’m less distracted, though I imagine that being more focused may very well cause me the need have more time alone with my thoughts.

I think I’m not going to try to make small talk just because its expected anymore.

I’ve probably rambled on about that a little too long. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me….

Anyway, what are you planning to do today Brain?
Pinky is planning to continue keeping kids on their educational tasks and teaching a little boy how to read.

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Wednesday April 1, 2020

Day 19 of Social distancing

I can see the sunrise through the trees. The song birds are very quite today. The rooster, however has been very loud. I shiver under my green snuggie because I can’t find my coat. But the morning is beautiful.

I love the sunrise, though I’m not usuallya morningperson– a strange affect of staying home, perhaps? For more than 20 years my dream home had a bedroom facings the east. And by the luck of a billion lotto tickets or divine intervention called Providence (I know which I believe) I finally live in a house where not only does my window face east it is a giant bay window. Always somewhere in my mind is the utter astonishment that we have landed here for at least a while in our lives.

These are dark times in our nation and world.  The economic repercussion will be long lasting. The sunrise reminds me of the song [Great is the Faithfulness] and verses that says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” I think I’m reminded of these verses when I look at the sunrise because I just can’t think of a naturalist reason for why the sunrise is beautiful. I know the science behind *how* it is beautiful, but that doesn’t tell me *why.* Its reminder that today is new, that reminds me of Anne of Green Gables saying that every morning is new with no mistakes in it [yet]. That little [yet] tact on by Anne’s teacher also draws me back to the reality that those lovely and encouraging verses are from a book called Lamentations—a very long book where the author writes out his grief and sorrow. The world is full of sorrow and pain. Naturalists are correct when the say that nature is red in tooth and claw. Maybe that’s why the beauty of the sun and the light from hero’s famous and those proceeding in anonymity have meaning beyond the hear and now.

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Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Day 18 of Social distancing

The rain is back with cool wind and grey clouds. Though the air is crisp, it retains its Spring sweetness. The grass is so green it nearly glows under the grey sky.The windchime and the accompanying wind has the melody today and the birds are only a faintly supporting harmony. My coffee is warm and I had to pull out the green snuggie again.

Today is a good day to work hard on school and chores. The wind told me so and has whipped all other thoughts away. The wind isn’t an anxious messenger though, and the morning peace isn’t disturbed.

Have a lovely day friends.

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