Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Day 110

The air is still this morning, but alive with the sound of birds. The colors, deepened by the damp night, show off rich greens and browns. A bird flutters gracefully to a branch, and I watch him poop.

I’m hoping that isn’t a omen of the day.

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Day 109

The annual school materials sort and reorganization has begun!

Monday, June 29, 2020

Day 108

Utter bewilderment struck her as she stepped out of her front door. She wasn’t a detective but she new the odd assortment of items, not commonly kept on front porches, were left by one or more of her 3 young boys. What they had been doing, however was still a mystery. Interviews of the suspects were likely to result in a 4th or 5th suspects–Not Me, and I Dont Know.

She sighed, leaving this new thing to deal with to the ants for a few more minutes. Sitting on the top step she inhaled deep breaths of warm, wet, pollen soaked air that made her nose itch and her clothes damp. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Nearly, 17 years into this parenting gig and it seemed she knew less about how to parent than when she started.

Sunday, June 28, 2020

Day 107

Worship Service online today.

“but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;”
1 Peter 3:15 NASB

My take away today:

The defense isn’t my apologetics but my life and how closely it traces Christ.

Saturday, June 27, 2020

Day 106

15 weeks completed

Baking sour dough bread is not an X on my pandemic bingo card. I wanted to try because I’ve always wanted to try. I actually used to bake bread a lot.

Its odd though, I know why I always wanted to bake sour dough but apparently a bunch of people were into that durring stay at home orders, and I don’t know why. It seems a little odd. Do we all secretly want to be baking bread but modernity keeps us from it? Is this some kind of natural desire we all supress because of an unatural social construct?

I don’t know. I tend to ask the most unnecessary questions.

When we were in a lock-down I probably could have at least given it a try, but I just kept putting it off. Now the lock downs are lifted and I’m back to the busyness outside of my home but without much of the fun busy things either. So baking bread is not on the mental to do list anymore.

We all admit that our plans for the year were derailed because of the pandemic but guess what? I derailed my own pandemic plans. I’m just that awesome!

All my plans are rough drafts.

Friday, June 26, 2020

Day 105

So when going out, check your notifications. Especially on days it rains.

The morning was still nice with blueberry bread, giant connect 4, and Jenga. (And coffee for me).

Thursday, June 25, 2020

Day 104

I woke up suddenly this morning for no reason I can determine. As I layed their I hoped I would fall back to sleep, but instead I developed a headache. Nothing like a headache to get you out of bed.

The song birds are calling loudly. The sun is up but still behind trees. The morning air is cool but not cold. A neighbor dog barks.

I’ve sat here for probably 10 minutes not writing one thing. Many of the thoughts and concerns I have are either too personal, too political, or too undetermined. What I mean by undetermined, is that I know of a problem but I can’t quite express it.

If I had to narrow down my concerns of the last 10 minutes and describe it without getting too personal or detailed I would say its this–kids need to play together. Unfortunately that may be too political. A millennial friend/family member told me once she wasn’t sure that all conversations weren’t political. Unfortunately, I think in our culture she might be right.

It was one thing to flatten the curve for a month (or even two) but its been over 3 months and my kids have played with other kids only a handful of times (and that counts playing with cousins). Even then some people would say that wasn’t good–that without a tested vaccine we just all need to wash our hands and stay home for 2 years. They haven’t even seen kids from church. They haven’t played on a playground.

Even as homeschoolers (you know the shut-ins who need to be socialized) my boys were around other kids–besides family– at least 3-4 times a week and those were not the same kids at each place. And there is at least some amount of directed play and undirected play. That’s minimal depending on sports and other activities it might be 5 to 7 days. I still can’t believe my kids haven’t played on a play ground in 104 days! Phineas and Ferb would have made their own play ground in that time if they didn’t have to social distance from their friends.

If kids have friends already, things might be ok. But what if they don’t have many friends or especially no close ones, and they aren’t able to make any new ones? What is going to happen to kids who are socially distanced from other kids for a year? Two years? Even if we can go back to the activities we had will kids need to stay six feet apart? Will they need to wear masks? How is that going to work for playing on a playground? How does that work for making friends?

I know this is a serious novel virus. I don’t deny that kids with no underlying conditions have died from it. I also wonder what affect this may have on mental and emotional health of virtually all kids. Humans need community. The risks aren’t just to physical health. How will they operate in society when they become adults?

That’s probably way too political in our current environment, but I’m not trying to change public policy. I’m trying to figure out how to take care of my children. And I have no idea how to help them keep and make friends right now.

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

This morning I notice a tapping sound amongst the rooster crows and song bird calls. I look up and see a wood pecker hammering away at a Red Oak Trunk. He moves but I still hear a distant tapping. 

My plans for the day have been reoriented because of the weather. I’m completely distracted by this. I was expecting to be nearly alone most of the day and now I won’t be. Even though I had several heavy chores planned that I’m not excited about, it is hard to recalibrate. I guess I was looking forward to a little more solitude.

What plans do have going on today?

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Day 102

So of course there are drenched snowboots on my front steps!

Shoes! What is it with shoes and kids? They never know where they are. They take them off anywhere and everywhere and forget about them. I’ve tried to teach them and remind them to take their shoes off and put them where they go. But no. These lessons have not stuck.

My 6 year has 2 decent pairs of shoes. One pair was lost for weeks because he took them off in the neighbor’s pasture and left them there. But even after they were recovered and washed and he TN claimed they were–like new mom; he has has decided that what he wants to wear everyday are his snowboots. Yes its Southeast Tennessee, yes, its June, yes, its hot. And yes, at least half the time he is in swim trunks and snowboots. No, we have no pool to swim at because they are closed.

Usually I can get him to wear normal shoes when we need to go somewhere but for the last week or more we can only find one blue hightop, and one blue sneaker and they are both left shoes…or maybe two rights. Either way, for the last week I had to let him wear the snowboots out because he didn’t want to wear “mis-matched.”

The last few days, however, he has worn his blue mis-matched shoes because it turns out the boots were drenched from outdoor adventures in the yard and snowboots don’t exactly dry out quickly.

So yesterday when I discovered the situation and found the snowboots– soggy and laying haphazardly on the front porch–I carefully opened the vlecro and straps and placed them in the hot bright sun on the front steps. Then we left to visit my Dad and Mom for the rest of the day. And then it rain so hard animals started lining up two by two all night.

So of course there are drenched snowboots on my front steps.

Monday, June 22, 2020

One hundred one days ago I started counting my families’ following “stay at home suggestion.” Day 1, was a Saturday. The day before was Friday the 13th. It was the last day of the County Schools 3rd quarter. It was the last in class day for both my kids’ homeschool class and public school classes. Since then, the suggestions for flattening the curve became guidlines, guidlines became orders, and are now slowly reversing. Also, the goal of flattening the curve shifted to a variety of other standards or measures ranging from waiting till there is a vaccine to open up the entire country, testing and contact tracing, to using locally controlled approaches. There has been more division and confusion and civil unrest than I’ve seen in my memory. A lot has happened in 100 days.

Our family is no longer practicing stay at home, we only social distance when in public, but not with friends or family. Playgrounds are still closed, summer camps canceled or very highly regulated, and church gatherings are still limited to 50% capacity with variety of other measures. Though most churches still aren’t meeting. No one has any idea what the County Schools will decide to do this fall.

This 100th day is no longer a “self quarantine” count but it is still a count for how long the Pandemic Procedures are affecting how we are able to function as individuals, families, and as a society. It affects the most basic aspects of or nature–relationships. The relationships we have with friends and family but also our relationship to the Community have been and are still completely disrupted.

The next 100 days will land (if I did my math right) at the end of September. I don’t know how to anticipate the next 100 days. Obviously, we never have been able to see the future, but there were enough social norms, institutional practices, and organizational patterns in our country and communities that it was possible to anticipate the coming days. Right now, there are two many unknowns for that–in particular schools. If we don’t know where the children will be, we don’t know where the adults will be.

What I can do is use what I have learned in the last 100 days–the intangible Truths. I do trust the Scientific Method and the tangible truths we can observe through it. But I also do not deny other Truths that are much harder for science to comment on. Science may tell us what is, but it doesn’t necessarily tell us what is right.

One of the things I’ve learned about myself is how easily I’m distracted by social media and how it doesn’t necessarily sustain me the way non virtual relationships do. I’ve also been convicted to see the needs in front of me physically. I believe that the most important difference I can make in the world is not online media but meeting the needs of the humans around me–most often that’s my children. I believe that if I want to help bring peace and order into the world it starts in my kitchen, my living room, my front porch.  Then its extended out from there.

I also see how writing my thoughts each day (or as often as I can) has helped me put my thoughts, feelings, desires, and priorities in order. It also gives me a strange sense of purpose to share it. How will I share it and also not be distracted by social media? I know that about as well as I know what the schools will do this fall.

I’m going to try to switch the way I share my thoughts each day. I’m going to start on my WordPress site and share to Facebook instead. I started the WordPress site so I wouldn’t be using Facebook like a blog.

Im still gonna keep the count each day and share my thoughts but I’m shifting how I do it. And I’ll see on day 200 what things are like. Because if the last 100 days has taught us only one thing, its that we have no idea what the future holds.